[Oh, what a question, and distantly, Leto is grateful Astarion offers it so vaguely. It gives him leave to let his mind wander where it will— for fair is fair, and Leto does not mind delving into his past for this. But ah . . .
He's quiet for a time. Not ignoring Astarion, but simply letting his mind cast back. Things that he's pushed away in the past, silently marking them for later. Later: the ghost of his mother rising in the back of his mind, ignored for a time when they weren't laughing softly in bed, giddily hushing one another as guards walked by. Later: a shopkeep who echoes an old saying that Danarius had loved, the connection saved for when they weren't in public. Later: a woman he'd passed this morning with black hair and blue eyes who stared at him so boldly . . .]
I have not told you much of Hadriana, have I?
[No, he hasn't.]
She used to delight in collaring me and chaining me to the wall. Sometimes there would be no chain, and it would simply be my neck and hands bolted to the wall. Typically she would put my food just out of reach and watch as I crawled for it, but . . .
[Mmph. This does not compare to being kidnapped by tentacled monsters. It does not compare, even, to the horror of living for two centuries as whorish bait. I do better on my back than my feet, and it's been over a year, but still Leto thinks of Astarion's face as he had said it. The way it so deliberately wasn't gaunt or grim, a bright mask put on so naturally you almost couldn't see the seams.
But they have never played the game of who had it worse.]
Danarius was not the only person who bedded me.
She would . . . I do not know if it was meant to humiliate or if she was lustful, but it barely mattered. She would . . . there were times she would take me along on one of her illict trysts, and take pleasure in rutting where I could not help but hear. And other times, when she had me chained and gagged, she would ride me. Over and over, using her magic on me as she did. Amplifying the sensation, or using elemental magic . . .
[And it is what it is. And anyway, the bitch is dead. And anyway, it's nothing. Danarius had done the same thing with his magic, and that happened far more often. Leto shrugs sharply.]
It was only a few times. She did not have me alone often. Apprentices don't get such toys.
no subject
He's quiet for a time. Not ignoring Astarion, but simply letting his mind cast back. Things that he's pushed away in the past, silently marking them for later. Later: the ghost of his mother rising in the back of his mind, ignored for a time when they weren't laughing softly in bed, giddily hushing one another as guards walked by. Later: a shopkeep who echoes an old saying that Danarius had loved, the connection saved for when they weren't in public. Later: a woman he'd passed this morning with black hair and blue eyes who stared at him so boldly . . .]
I have not told you much of Hadriana, have I?
[No, he hasn't.]
She used to delight in collaring me and chaining me to the wall. Sometimes there would be no chain, and it would simply be my neck and hands bolted to the wall. Typically she would put my food just out of reach and watch as I crawled for it, but . . .
[Mmph. This does not compare to being kidnapped by tentacled monsters. It does not compare, even, to the horror of living for two centuries as whorish bait. I do better on my back than my feet, and it's been over a year, but still Leto thinks of Astarion's face as he had said it. The way it so deliberately wasn't gaunt or grim, a bright mask put on so naturally you almost couldn't see the seams.
But they have never played the game of who had it worse.]
Danarius was not the only person who bedded me.
She would . . . I do not know if it was meant to humiliate or if she was lustful, but it barely mattered. She would . . . there were times she would take me along on one of her illict trysts, and take pleasure in rutting where I could not help but hear. And other times, when she had me chained and gagged, she would ride me. Over and over, using her magic on me as she did. Amplifying the sensation, or using elemental magic . . .
[And it is what it is. And anyway, the bitch is dead. And anyway, it's nothing. Danarius had done the same thing with his magic, and that happened far more often. Leto shrugs sharply.]
It was only a few times. She did not have me alone often. Apprentices don't get such toys.