[Is it awful that Leto (Fenris) feels relief? He scans those words again and again and feels himself exhale in the worst way as there is no mention of beds or desks, groping hands and sour breath. Awful because he knows the kinds of horrors that Astarion is implying; awful because he can remember (in another world, in another lifetime) watching with dull-eyed neutrality as some unlucky slave was chosen to have their limbs severed or their hides whipped open, blood thick in the air for no other reason than sport.
But it wasn't Astarion.
And Leto has never deluded himself that he is a hero. He takes on noble ventures, yes, and the world is a little better off than it would be had he not acted, he knows this. But when the chips are down, he cares about those who care about him— and there is nothing and no one he loves more than his Astarion.]
I would not call it naivety.
[It's quiet, insofar as writing can be. An observation, for he will not make the mistake (though his heart longs to) of soothing every single one of Astarion's fears and insecurities.]
Another reason for us to visit him, then, if ever we return.
Is it guilt you feel, even now? Or bitterness that you could not help, even in freedom?
[Or neither, or both . . . but Leto knows both those feelings very well. And sometimes, even here, he is the elder when it comes to certain experiences.]
no subject
But it wasn't Astarion.
And Leto has never deluded himself that he is a hero. He takes on noble ventures, yes, and the world is a little better off than it would be had he not acted, he knows this. But when the chips are down, he cares about those who care about him— and there is nothing and no one he loves more than his Astarion.]
I would not call it naivety.
[It's quiet, insofar as writing can be. An observation, for he will not make the mistake (though his heart longs to) of soothing every single one of Astarion's fears and insecurities.]
Another reason for us to visit him, then, if ever we return.
Is it guilt you feel, even now? Or bitterness that you could not help, even in freedom?
[Or neither, or both . . . but Leto knows both those feelings very well. And sometimes, even here, he is the elder when it comes to certain experiences.]